photograph a day | 51/365

Sometimes I don't know how I got so lucky... my husband is truly the sweetest man I know. I am ashamed to say I kind of woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday and was having a hard time getting motivated to do anything... mostly because I was starting to feel overwhelmed and very much like a deer in headlights. We have so much going on right now and even though most of it is great, I can't help but feel like every time I take a step forward, I take another two back. Don't get me wrong, I am truly the happiest I have ever been, but lately, some days I just feel lost. I was really hoping to get my life more organized before the baby, the room ready and feel ok about taking a month or so off... when you work for yourself it is hard not to work 24/7. Work is with me at all times and even though I love working, I really, really was looking forward to turning off my phone and doing nothing but bond with my baby for a good month. And now that we have decided to put his house on the market, well, it changes a lot of what we had planned. Secretly, I am thrilled to be moving back to my house... I LOVE my house. My heart belongs in my house (I guess I should now say our house!). But, I do not love the fact that we will be showing this house while trying to get ready for baby and then moving in to my house with a 2 month old. In a perfect world our tenant's lease would be up at the end of March, but in reality it is not up until June 30th... and although a move is usually not that bad (I have been through so many of them, they seem like second nature), we still have a lot of unfinished projects that I want done before moving in. A LOT. And it is making me so beyond anxious. My studio, the laundry room, the bathroom and the kitchen (to name a few). And the last thing I want to do is move back in with a 2 month old and have a million little projects going on all over the house. Once again, living out of boxes and spending more time worrying about these projects than being a new family.

So this brings me back to why I am so lucky... I sent Matt out to get some milk for my tea yesterday and he came back with flowers, milk, scones and a few more things we needed, but I hadn't ask him to get. It is amazing how such a small gesture can really turn everything around. His kindness and understanding combined with his big hugs reminded me that it doesn't really matter what my house looks like or how unorganized it will be,  or how crazy our life is as long as I am with him.

1 comment:

  1. We moved (into another rental) when I was 7 or 8 months pregnant, and it was alternately great to get more space, but DAMN, it added a whole lot more stress. I sympathize!

    I also feel like I take one step forward, then remember something else I need to do, and go two steps back. I will never be ready for this baby!