good-bye + hello.

I swear I wrote the most amazing post in my head two nights ago while falling asleep... why is it I can always come up with the perfect post either in the shower, driving or falling asleep and then can't seem to recreate it when I am actually sitting down at the computer?

So here it goes... Good-bye 2010. Hello 2011. and thank you. Thank you to all my friends and family and clients and people who read this little blog and who made my 2010 very special.

It was a very bitter sweet year. One filled with so much love and happiness and at the same time so much loss and a handful of difficult experiences.

It was painful to watch people I love lose their life savings (which sadly seemed to be quite the theme of 2010) and even more painful to watch people I love lose people they love. 

In 2009 I lost two of my dear grandparents less than two weeks apart from each other and again in 2010, I lost my last grandparent. It will be two years in march since I lost my Grandma Audrey and not a day goes by that I don't think about and talk to her. She was my person who I called when anything happened -- and even though so many good things happened this year, I always felt like they didn't seem real because I couldn't share those experiences with her. So THANK YOU to the people who read this blog and have more or less taken on her role... you, some I know and some I have never talked to, are the ones that i have come to share with... and I think in a way you have become my Audrey.

The one thing I didn't share with you this year was something I wasn't sure I would ever share, but feel that it is so apart of me now, I can't not. and boy is it something I am very eager to leave in 2010. I was pregnant and lost the baby at a little over 10 weeks. It was devastating and horrible and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Such a different kind of pain than losing someone already in your life, but one that leaves you feeling just as void. As much as I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the saying "things happen for a reason", I do believe that this little soul entered our lives to bring my husband and I closer together. Out of this awful experience I discovered the most amazing man... and although I was already madly in love with him, I really grew to love him in a way I had never loved before. So for that I am thankful.

2010 was also filled with lots and lots of other lessons... and one that stands out the most was sadly learned at the expense of a friendship with someone who I had been close with for quite some time. and all i can say about it now is that I am deeply sorry for the part I played and am hopeful I will not make the same mistakes again in 2011.

(so now on to the good stuff)

2010 was also filled with the most amazing opportunities and experiences. Starting from January 1, 2010... the day I received an email from Alexis regarding a project over at Swanson Vineyards. I do not have words to express to you how grateful I am for that opportunity. Alexis is someone who I have always admired and feel is just so full of talent, vision, grace and humor it is silly. And to be able to work so closely with her on so many exciting projects, well, it certainly made my year sing. Her eye and her vision are a gift... and I so cherish the gift she gave me... working with her not only opened my eyes to new ways to photograph, but she challenged me to think about how something could be better... even when I thought it was great, there it was, better than better than the best! So thank you Alexis for believing in me and making my year so special. I am truly humbled and honored.

2010 will also be a year that for me is defined by love. The year I married my mister, the year I acquired a new family and the year I became more confident with who I am. And I know this is going to sound a bit cheesy, but it is a year that I truly started to believe in the power of love. The power of loving yourself even in the slightest and accepting love from others is just plain incredible.

Moving forward to today -- 1/1/2011 -- my soul is filled with so much excitement. A new day, a new year. There are still a lot of unknowns in our life at the moment... but that unknown is also kind of exhilarating.
-- I am excited about starting some projects with a new and fresh outlook (one I will announce within the next day or so).
-- I am excited because my mister and I have found a good rhythm and are on the same page with regards to what we want in life together. We are communicating better than ever and have a plan to get us through some things that have been weighing us down. Although I also know that things never really work out as planned, I am at least happy we are traveling on the same path together... where ever it may be headed.
-- I am very excited to be pregnant again and even more happy that as of today, he is a healthy boy.
-- I am excited about drinking a margarita this summer. ok, margaritas this summer. I. Love. Margaritas.
-- and I am excited about continuing to share the little things that are special in my life through iheartnapa.

Wishing you all a beautiful 2011 filled with lots of love, good health, success, yummy food, time for your passions, exciting travels + peace.


1 comment:

  1. Beautifully written... I know life has a funny way of playing out sometimes doesn't it? I share so much of your recent pains the last year having been through it myself, but YOU YOU YOU helped get me through it all, and I am forever grateful to have such genuine people like you in my life! Thank you, for being so great, and also for allowing me to return the favor when you were in pain.
    Your photos are truly amazing, as is your heart... was that cheesy enough? :) I am so very proud of you and all your hard work this year! I hope that 2011 is a truly special one for you.. somehow, I think it will be! Thank you for sharing your life, and your heart, with all of us who adore you! Congratulations on all you have accomplished, career, your marriage, and the amazing little man coming who will forever capture your heart! Cheers, to all that is still ahead my dear!

    Oh, and yes, when the time comes... margaritas!!! :))

    Love you my dear friend...
    :) Nic